alright i'm back.. my phone is being confiscated by who?? try to guess.. MY FUCKING IRRITATING FATHER!!! DAMN HIM.. argh!! i can't go to school.. well who cares.. i will go tomorrow and i don't care.. i hate him for having such a such closed mind!!! what did i do wrong? is it because someone have a crush on me and confess to me and i reject him?? am i too young to have a crush on someone?? hello.. this is what they called reality.. there is nothing wrong of liking someone.. am i right?? unless the person you have a crush on takes advantage of you.. and that maybe you should forget having crush on such a bitch or jerk..

so i receive a confession through sms.. well there is this student of mine whom i am teaching him to communicate in english seems to have a crush on me.. it was so obvious that he like me but i just don't respond to his feelings since i do not treat him more than my friend and student.. that's all.. thus, i replied back to him that i can't accept his feelings because i am in love with someone else.. and that's the truth.. i love someone.. from JA.. alright i have said it.. it is a very big clue already.. sigh.. and yesterday while waiting for the food to arrive, i received a message and when i was about to read the message, my dad was like suspicious and ordered me to give my phone to him.. what the fuck?! how old am i?? 17 or 7?? damn him.. so the guy was like telling me that he would not want to learn because he was too embarrassed after giving such confession and in the end, got rejected immediately.. i might seems so cruel but i'll give the details later.. so he read all the messages in my phone.. well, it seems that he somehow knew the person that i like the name.. haha.. well, it was jolene's replied messages.. haha.. he read it and say that i am flirtatious and nearly brought shame to the family's name.. i was like WHAT?! i don't really understand that part.. i haven't even confessed to him yet.. i am not sure whether he got feelings for me or not.. sigh.. and now he banned me from going to school since it is school holidays.. i was so freaking annoyed by him.. hello!!!! this is not primary school!!!!!!!! i am currently in poly life!! i have an upcoming camp and competition!!! DAMN YOU!! i don't fucking care but i am going to school whenever i required to go.. it is not like i am going for a date!! i have no boyfriend yet.. will you get this fucking line in your fucking mind?? argh!!!

alright.. why did i reject my student.. firstly, i don't even know much about him.. i don't know his age, his real name, his personality.. what i know is that he seriously need some improvement when speaking english.. that's all.. that is the reason why i became his tutor.. i don't expect anything from him but i want him to be able to speak good english.. what's more.. i am in love with someone else.. so that's the reason that i reject him immediately.. but it is for his own good.. i don't want him to have any false hope on me.. i don't want that to happen because i had experience this before.. i do not want him to face what i have faced.. it is better to tell them earlier than to just keep quiet about it.. i have suffered enough in silence.. and I CERTAINLY DO NOT WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO SUFFER WHAT I HAVE SUFFERED.. that is my intention.. i really hope that he will be able to heal in time and find a better girl.. sigh..

i am feeling so down now.. i don't think i'll be writing anymore.. until the next time, take care people.. =]

Labels: i am sorry but i don't want to give you any false hope..