Again and Again.

What am i living for?

Friday, 28 November 2008

i went skip school yesterday to go out with zana!! haha.. miss her a lot.. i really wished that we can go out some time again soon.. but sadly, those outings will have to wait until my holidays which is starting on 13/12..

she did my makeup and i really love them.. haha.. i really tempted her into buying mineral makeup! haha.. i just love mineral makeup.. they are easy to use and the brush that we saw at body shop for the mineral makeup is super soft!! ahha.. just imagine if you are going to buy a whole set of the mineral makeup! i think you will need at about $1000. just in case. the $1000 includes the foundation, blusher and eyeshadow of different shades. =] that's why. if you are buying one shade for each product, then i think you only need about $200.

this is what i look like after the make over that zana had given me.. i think she is like a magician with the power to make someone pretty.. =]

in this picture, my face look very ROUND! =P

second shot

i just love this shot.. don't know why..

edited by zana.. in the world of darkness, there is still light shining..

3 shots in a column

i really flames award but there are some things where i don't like! aha.. the MCs for yesterday are so terrible.. oh my gosh! it is obvious that they didn't have much experience in doing these things.. how i wish that some other people would have taken their position, like nura.. i think she is a really good in doing her job as an MC.. =]

the food was horrible!!!! argh!! damn! there is a non-sauced spagetthi, hashbrowns, fried chicken and also a tasteless jelly for dessert!! what the fuck?! yuck! i think that they really need to work on the ordering of their food.

then it is party time!! woohoo~! i have a wonderful time!! haha.. with all my friends there.. vin.. sorry i didn't go to your side.. ahah.. =] so here are some of the photos that were taken during flames..

Joann and me

Elijah is scaring me!! =P

smile nada!! =]

my ignite friend.. =]

mr karl and me

why is he taller than me? =[

felicia was quite bored during the event..

my junior and dance partner

don't you just find him too cute? (OUCH!! you tape your face!!)

joann and iqa (lovely girls)

woohoo!! soon!! it is going to soon.. both to my legal age and also my holidays.. i am very anxious while waititng for my birthday which is due in 4 days. oh my gosh.. i am so nervous. i wonder how is the celebration this time round? maybe just stay at home maybe? hmm.. i don't know.. well, i have been waiting for the day that i turn 18.. i don't know why but 18 sounds convincing.. sigh.. who cares.. as long as i am happy and healthy, i am alright.. =]

Labels: i love your makeover

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

i am indeed the most cruelest person in the world

i know that i am being very cruel. i am really sorry. i know that during these few days you are very happy with me. i know that you will need time to heal. don't worry. i also need time to heal myself. i hope that we will be friends no matter what happen. i really love you but only as a friend and a brother. i hope you will understand my feelings. knowing you, i can feel you crying silently in your heart. i am crying for the both of us. you are a good man. you are bound to find a girl that have feelings for you.

i am being cruel to you. i am very sorry...

Labels: forgive me..

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

i am so confused..

i am so confused now. it is good that someone like me. but what am i supposed to do if i don't really have the feelings that he has for me? i am so confused. and i feel that i like someone now. i can tell you that it is not that jerk.

i am really disappointed that he broke all the promises that we had made. sigh. and i guess that i get my hope to high..

i am going to give it a shot. i want to see how long we can last. if i can have feelings for him, then i will continue on. if not, i really have to tell him that i have no feelings for him despite the way he feels for me.

i know i am like a bitch. but what am i supposed to do? i already told him that i have no feelings as the way he feels for me. i also told him that it is alright if we give it a shot. in addition, i told him that i might hurt him in the end. though he tells me that he is prepared to face the consequences, i think that i might really hurt him a lot. what am i supposed to do? he is my precious friend. =[

Labels: i like A but B likes me?

Friday, 21 November 2008

I AM EVIL AS ALWAYS..

oh my fucking god. i do not know what to say but the faci who invigilate us is pure crap! she is just too GAYSHIT! oh my.. and she treat us like some freaks who had broken out fromthe zoo. just DIE! who cares about you! and one thing for sure, YOU ARE PLAIN STUPID! just because jonathan said that he would copy his friend's answer, it does not mean that he will copy, you FREAKING BITACH! and why can't i sit at an empty seat which is in front of me and you ask me to seat at freaking empty table? for goodness sake! can't you freaking see the seat! it is either you too fuck up or too bothered by the fact that the choice of me seating there. what's wrong with her? her cunt got problem is it? then want to vent her anger on some strangers that she doesn't even know! SCREW YOU! DIE!! AHAHAHHAHA... =D

Labels: YOU GAYSHIT CUNT..

fairies, specialists, nymph.. -.-

hey people! it has really been a while since i updated. alright. here are some of the fresh news

my performance was somehow average. but i really find that the others had really done their best! good job guys. i will post some of the photos here but most of the photos will only be available at jammerz arena website. ahah!

then there was a performance by two of our jammerz arena bands. well, i am really puzzled about the second band that played. why is one of the members not playing? i want to ask but i think that they are having some trouble. thus, i do not feel like asking as i might be asking a taboo question.

this is the first time that i really left school early after lesson. tim and i were like rushing to causeway point to catch a movie. well, the movie is kinda lame in a way but i really like the graphics. oh well, i guess that it is a bit lame as it is for little kids especially it targetted mostly on girls. ahaha. we were like the only teenagers while the others are mainly little kids and gays! ahha.. =D

pictures will be uploaded. so sorry if i had forgotten! alright people! nights! adios senior, seniorita!

Labels: i would give 2.5/5.. yup.

Friday, 7 November 2008

11/11/2008 will be very memorable

My PP presentation is over! Thank god! I thought that it was going to be very difficult. Sigh.. It was not that easy also. There might be a certain point of time where I missed out the points that I felt that it played apart in the presentation. Guess that I am quite nervous. Who cares?!

Now that PP is over, I have another thing to worry about which is the upcoming Reflections 2008. It is happening next Tuesday! Argh!!! I am so nervous!! This will be my first time performing in front a lot of people!! Sigh. What am I supposed to do with my nervousness? Sigh.. =[

Alright.. I am tired and I want to sleep! Night! =]

Labels: waiting for the final moment

Saturday, 1 November 2008

everything is normal

Just another boring day in this life of plain Jane. Yup. That is who I am. I do not think that I really shine that much but who cares! As long as I like my life now, I think that I do not have anything to worry about.

I still have my PP poster presentation and JA concert to worry about. Not forgetting the bands who might be playing for the charity stuff. If no one wants to, I think that I will ask Wesley's or my band to play. I think I post the information into the JA blog. It has been a while since I updated that blog. Gosh! Got to inform them about Reflections 2008 too. No worries. I will settle it latest by Monday. I guess that I have a lot of things going on in my mind currently. Sometimes, I wish that I wasn't any part of these things. I feel that it is unfair that the 4 of us do all the job, while the others just shaking legs doing nothing. All they know is to push people around and getting the credits all to themselves. Sigh. Ask them to come for a meeting, only see the four of us. Seriously, I want to scream at their faces and tell them to do what they are supposed to do and not pushing their work to us. Sigh. If you ever read this, PLEASE BE RESPONSIBLE AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB~! Just come for a fucking meeting and don't give me reason such as outing with friends while the meeting is about some freaking event that will have an impact to our IG!

I do want to sit down and talk about this after Reflections 2008 and before our internal gig. Wesley, if you are reading this, you should know what I have in mind. I will tell you the details soon. Don't worry! I will bear all of the consequences. I have always been the hated girl. So this is nothing to me. =]

So what's with him these days? Who cares? Screw him! I don't even care about him anymore. He could just work and do what he wants all the time. I would not bother to ask him anymore. Because he can't stick to his promises and I hate promise-breaker. Let me say this. I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU ANYMORE. HAPPY? HOPE YOU ARE, JERK!

Wee! I got work tomorrow. It will be at Petir Road! Quite near somehow! Yeah! Hope I don't bump into anyone! Ahha!! AND... I got to meet with Fiy!!! AHHHHH!!! I seriously missed her!! hahaha.. I will really have fun tomorrow! Alright! Mata ashita people! Oyasuminasai!

Labels: i won't bother you.

Friday, 28 November 2008

flames award

in this picture, my face look very ROUND! =P

second shot

i just love this shot.. don't know why..

edited by zana.. in the world of darkness, there is still light shining..

3 shots in a column

Joann and me

Elijah is scaring me!! =P

smile nada!! =]

my ignite friend.. =]

mr karl and me

why is he taller than me? =[

felicia was quite bored during the event..

my junior and dance partner

don't you just find him too cute? (OUCH!! you tape your face!!)

joann and iqa (lovely girls)

Labels: i love your makeover

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

i am indeed the most cruelest person in the world

i am being cruel to you. i am very sorry...

Labels: forgive me..

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

i am so confused..

i am really disappointed that he broke all the promises that we had made. sigh. and i guess that i get my hope to high..

Labels: i like A but B likes me?

Friday, 21 November 2008

I AM EVIL AS ALWAYS..

Labels: YOU GAYSHIT CUNT..

fairies, specialists, nymph.. -.-

hey people! it has really been a while since i updated. alright. here are some of the fresh news

pictures will be uploaded. so sorry if i had forgotten! alright people! nights! adios senior, seniorita!

Labels: i would give 2.5/5.. yup.

Friday, 7 November 2008

11/11/2008 will be very memorable

Alright.. I am tired and I want to sleep! Night! =]

Labels: waiting for the final moment

Saturday, 1 November 2008

everything is normal

Labels: i won't bother you.

I'm searching for the sky that I've lost.

Name: Siti Hawa (Ais)
Age: 18 years old
Date of birth: December 6
Status: Single

Read this blog or JUST FUCKING LEAVE!

I love being myself.
I am who I am.
Accept me or FUCK OFF SERIOUSLY.
I am either singing, reading or screaming all the time.
I love almost all colours that exists except for PINK.
If you see me in PINK, it means that my mom forces me too. -__-"
I treasure the bonds that I have between my friends.

I hate people that only use me as a stepping stone.

I am sorry BITCH(including those RETARDED BOYS out there) but I am not a stone!
I may seem like a nice girl, someone that you can push around.
Sadly to say that, I ain't no girl that you can push around like a rag doll.
Without you knowing, I might have just PUNCH YOUR PRETTY FUGLY FACE!
So just fuck off if you want to mess around with me.

WHAT I WANT?
laptop
dslr camera
nail polish
shirts
pants

I want to shout it out loud.

I ask myself if I really do love you.